


without or with you

by schweet_heart



Series: Merlin Fic [191]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Begging, Canon Era, Desperation, First Kiss, First Time, M/M, Magic Made Them Do It, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mildly Dubious Consent, Multiple Orgasms, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Oblivious Merlin (Merlin), Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Red String of Fate, Rough Sex, Sex Magic, Soul Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-10-18 23:00:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20647103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/schweet_heart/pseuds/schweet_heart
Summary: “Thisis never going to happen,” Arthur said, when he and Merlin first met. He coiled the soul-thread tight around his fingers and pulled, so that their bond dug sharply into Merlin’s flesh. “I don’t want it, I’m not interested, and if you mention it to anyone my father will have you arrested. Do you understand?"Written for Kinkalot 2019 Challenge #4: Magic Made Them Do It.





	without or with you

**Author's Note:**

> NB: Please make sure to check the tags and proceed accordingly.
> 
> Title from Dodie Smith's "Arms Unfolding."
> 
> Please do not repost elsewhere or list my fic on Goodreads (or any other similar spaces).

“_This_ is never going to happen,” Arthur said, when he and Merlin first met. He coiled the soul-thread tight around his fingers and pulled, so that their bond dug sharply into Merlin’s flesh. “I don’t want it, I’m not interested, and if you mention it to anyone my father will have you arrested. Do you understand?”

Merlin nodded, keeping his thoughts to himself. He had already seen the way Uther Pendragon treated those with magic, and it was easiest—safest—not to want Arthur, either.

“I don’t want it,” Arthur repeated, looking at Merlin as though he’d attempted to convince him otherwise. “So you might as well get used to it.”

-

The string around his wrist ached sometimes when Arthur stood too close to him, the same way his shoulder ached in cold weather. It seemed like pain was the only thing they shared through their connection.

“For heaven’s sake, stop rubbing it,” Arthur hissed, clamping down on his arm. “Do you want to end up with your head on a block?”

“What I _want_ is for it to stop hurting,” Merlin grumbled back, wondering if this were secretly Arthur’s fault. Did he hate the bond so much that Merlin could sense it? “It’s not like I asked to be tied to you.”

“I didn’t ask to be tied to _you_, either,” Arthur retorted, but he looked worried. “Have you spoken to Gaius?”

“He said it’s normal.” Had said, in fact, that _unrequited bonds can fester, Merlin, so you might want to take care of that_. It had been embarrassing. “There’s not much we can do.”

“Fine,” Arthur said, still frowning. “You’ll just have to try to be more discreet.”

Merlin, who felt he had been very discreet, thank you, stopped trying to tug his arm away from Arthur and stood immobile, stone-faced; but it still took several minutes before Arthur condescended to let him go.

-

They were on a hunting trip, of course, when things got ugly. Something strange had happened to Merlin’s feet, and then his head, and then he was lying sprawled on the ground, staring up into Arthur’s anxious face—the only fixed point in a spinning universe.

“What happened?” he said, just as Arthur asked, “Are you all right?”

“Not sure,” Merlin tried to say, but all that came out was a moan. Arthur knelt next to him, feeling Merlin’s forehead, and Merlin arched under his hand as though it were a proposition. The prince let out a hiss.

“It’s the bond, isn’t it?” he said. “Shit, Merlin, why didn’t you tell me it was this bad?”

Merlin said nothing. There was nothing to tell, really, except that he had fallen in love with Arthur in spite of himself, and he’d rather suffer in silence than confess when Arthur didn’t love him back.

“All right, that’s it,” Arthur said, when Merlin didn’t answer. “This ends now."

He unbuckled his belt, sliding it from around his waist and discarding it on the ground. It was only when he began to unlace his breeches that Merlin realised what he meant.

“You don’t want this,” he said, shocked into blurting out the words. “It’s for life, Arthur, you don’t _want_—”

“Don’t tell me what I want,” Arthur growled, taking off his boots.

-

Naked, Arthur was more difficult to resist. Merlin closed his eyes, but he had already seen that the prince was hard, his eyes dark with determination. Would it be so terrible, he wondered, if they both chose to go through with this, albeit for very different reasons?

“Are you sure?” he asked, even as he unknotted his neckerchief. “There are other options.”

“It’s hurting you,” Arthur said, touching his fingers to Merlin's throat. “This will make it stop.”

He wasn’t gentle. Whatever he’d found to use for slick was cold and wet and not enough, and he bore Merlin down into the damp grass, forcing him open. Merlin rocked backward, equally desperate, ignoring the tears that leaked from his eyes in his efforts to be closer.

“Please,” he begged. Arthur’s free hand stroked over his back, settling at his waist, and Merlin shuddered all over.

It was humiliating, wanting him like this—but it was good, too, the magic thrumming inside him like heat. Arthur had him pinned in place, squirming and red-cheeked against the muddy ground, and for once he didn’t have to hide how much he liked it.

“It’s all right.” Arthur’s lips brushed his nape, feather-light, and Merlin choked back a sob as he began to move. “It’s all right, Merlin, I’ve got you.”

-

The first time Merlin came, it was with Arthur’s palm steady at his stomach, Arthur driving into him roughly from behind. He cried out, his fingernails digging deep into the mud, but although he spent himself liberally into the grass his cock was still as hard as ever, throbbing painfully with need.

“More,” he whimpered, shaking, and Arthur obliged.

He didn’t remember the second time, but by the third, the fog was starting to clear. Arthur had come at least once already, his fat cock sliding easily in and out of Merlin’s hole, and they were face to face, the prince staring down at him with an intent expression that Merlin couldn’t parse. He didn’t _look _as though he resented it, but he had to be able to feel the way the magic was drawing tight, weaving their souls together in an unbreakable bond.

“I’m sorry,” Merlin whispered, when the tension became unbearable. There would be no going back from this, he knew, just as he knew with crystal clarity that he didn’t _want_ to go back, and he wouldn’t, selfishly, even if he had the choice. Sparks flared behind his eyelids, his whole body straining towards Arthur’s. Then Arthur leaned in to kiss his mouth, achingly sweet, and linked their fingers together, pressing them wrist to wrist where the ties of their soul-bond met.

“Merlin,” he said, and Merlin gasped as Arthur’s pleasure flowed through him. “Don’t be.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments :)


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